WHAT CAN YOU CONTROL?

A lot is going on right now, I don’t think any of us can look around and not feel it. Whether it’s directly hitting our own lives or affecting someone we care about, there's always something.

If you’re in America right now, you probably already know what I’m talking about: protests, government budget cuts, deportations on the rise, fear in the air, tension in everyday places. It's heavy, and to be honest, it’s hard not to carry it.

My therapist has asked me something more than once that I now hear in my head on days like today.

She says, “I hear that you’re worried, but is it something you can control?” And sometimes that question annoys me, because the answer is usually no.

But today, it really stuck with me and it had me thinking: Why do I let the things I can’t control take up so much space in my mind, when I have the power to redirect my energy to what I can?

It is not because I have the answer all wrapped up in a bow, but because I’m asking myself this question every single day right now.

Here’s what I know:

Today, I could control what I wore.

I could control what I ate.

I could control how I responded to people, how I carried myself, and the energy I brought into the room.

But also today, something happened that reminded me exactly why this question matters.

A complete stranger at work came up to me and said some incredibly mean, cutting things, out of nowhere, just because they didn’t get their way. And it shook me deeply. I didn’t know them, they didn’t know me, but their words hit a part of me that was already tired, and it stuck.

It was unplanned.

Unexpected.

Unnecessary.

And honestly? It was painful.

I couldn't control the time or place it happened, I couldn't control their mood or what led them to act like that. But I could control how I responded, and in that moment, I held onto the little bit of peace I had left and reminded myself: this is not mine to carry.

Sometimes life makes us feel powerless, like we’re just reacting to everything, constantly catching our breath from the last hit. And it’s easy, in those moments, to forget that we do have power, not over everything but over something.

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” — Exodus 14:14

Sometimes the fight isn’t about fixing everything but choosing peace, choosing grace, choosing to not let something outside of you change the peace within you.

Here’s something that’s been helping me lately, a simple little tool that I started using when my mind gets too loud. I call it the “Can & Can’t Table.” Kind of like a pros and cons list, but for your mental and emotional clarity.

You write the situation at the top.

Then draw two columns:

What I can control

What I can’t control

So, for today’s situation at work:

Situation: A stranger said something really mean and tried to tear me down.

What I Could Control:

– My response

– My tone

– Whether I carried that energy with me the rest of the day

– Whether I let it define me

What I Couldn’t Control:

– Their attitude

– The time and place it happened

– What led them to act like that

Making that list reminded me that even if I felt unprepared, I wasn’t powerless.

“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” — 1 Peter 5:7

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” — Isaiah 26:3

So maybe you’re reading this right now, thinking about the hundred things happening in your life that you don’t have control over. And maybe you’ve been feeding them, giving them all your time, attention, and energy, and now they’re controlling you.

Funny how that works, right? We don’t have control, but those things end up having control over us.

You’re not alone in that!

We’re all doing the best we can to stay grounded in a world that feels like it’s spinning. But just for today, I invite you to ask yourself:

What can I control? And am I giving that enough attention?

Let’s stop letting our losses take up more space than our wins.

Let’s stop replaying the things we couldn’t stop and start giving ourselves credit for the things we held together.

You showed up, you tried, you kept going. That counts!

God isn’t asking you to control the world; He’s asking you to trust Him with what you can’t.

And take ownership of what’s in your hands.

Love always,

SJ