TRUE FRIENDSHIPS

When I decided to write on this topic, I thought of the people in my life that I truly consider to be my friends.

What I realize is that sometimes we are so quick to put that title on people without even first thinking of the meaning of the words "friends" and "friendship." I've said this many times before on this blog, that God created us to live in unity and to be in fellowship with one another, and while some people will say they don't need anyone and can go through life alone, we NEED people in our lives. Not just people, but real people! What I mean by that is that in life we will come across people from all walks of life and some of these people will come our way but not with the best of intentions or their true self.

Friendship to me is a mutual relationship between two or more people and a friend is someone who is with you, stands by you and walk with you through thick and thin. Someone who sees you at your worst, sees your heart, your true colors but is with you all the way. Where you don't have to pretend to be someone you're not, where you can share your feelings, and thoughts freely. Even when there is arguments, bumping of heads, and bumps in the road, that person or group people will go through it with you. I have many experiences where I thought I had friends but in the end ended up with backstabbers, liars, you name it. It was all a mix of wolves in sheep clothing. There was a point in my teenage years where I longed for a best friend, I felt like everyone had one but me and so I wanted one so bad that I actually bought myself a best friend. When I say bought, I really mean bought, the friendship came as a result of me buying her food everyday, always asking her to go places and be the one to pay, always initiating everything when in return she never once bought me a gift not even for my birthday. By mistake, I overheard a conversation between her and her "real" friends about how she was using me and "helping" me because I couldn't get real friends and she went on and on, even bringing up my ethnicity. You've recently read suicide and so you know where that lead me and how I felt in that moment!

With time, I learnt that friendships shouldn't be bought or forced! I always had bad taste in friendships and my dad would always advised me about the people I use to go around saying were my friends and I only learnt my lesson when something happened. Either they were no where to be seen when I needed them the most or they were the ones doing me dirty. If it's one thing I want you to take from this now, is that parents can smell a fake friend or boyfriend from miles away and so believe them when they tell you that someone seems fishy. With every failed attempt in gaining true friends, I gave up the idea of even wanting any, I became one of those people who said that I didn't need friends or people in my life. I considered everyone to be fake and so I became unwelcoming and the idea of letting anyone in was nonexistent, and it was in being like this that I met my real friends. They were persistent in being there for me, coming at me about my face and why I was always so serious and unwelcoming, they were doing the inviting, they were initiating and slowly but surely I began to open up and it all became mutual.

My best friend became my best friend by just being who she is, someone who is raw, open and honest! She doesn't sugar coat anything for me, if my hairstyle don't make sense she would boldly say and Infront of people sometimes, "but serge what kind of hairstyle is that!" and that went for everything and I the same. I would do something that pissed her off and she would get mad and leave but before the day is over one of us would message and talk it out. My best friend has seen me at my worst, my downfalls and everything that comes with me but stays through it and go through it with me. For some reason it always seemed like what everyone else hates about her is what I love, her straightforwardness and her always being her unapologetic self. I have also gained my two closest friends in the world, my two grapes who is always there every step of the way. Like my bestfriend they are true to themselves, honest and rides the storms with me and like every real friendships, there are moody days and days when we feel like we dislike each other but we often realize that some of those things that try to get in-between our friendship are always so small and so petty. I've also met my little human and someone whom I consider a little sister who is everything and more, words are not enough to say how thankful I am to God for them.

While having these four with me, I gained someone who was older and mature, who would also set me straight, my dearest confidant Louisa. She loved me for me and was always there to listen to my soppy stories, helped in whatever it was and everyday made sure I was okay because that's who she was. Her pure heart and her willingness to always help, helped me as well in becoming more like her. She would often remind me of how glad she was that she never listened to what people said about me and got to know me for me and who I truly am. It is with tears and a broken heart that I write this because Lou recently left Earth to go home to meet our savior but I know she's resting and is at peace. There is not a day that won't go by where I don't miss her but I am so glad I met such a kind soul, a true friend, partner and confidant. Her death is hard to accept and I am trying everyday to come to terms with it, not only did I speak to her a few hours before she died, but I feel like she had so many things left to do and knowing all the plans she had and goals that she set, kills me inside. But God is the author and finisher of our faith and while this may seem so unfair, I can't help but think of how happy she is now because she trusted the Lord with all her heart and rested solely on him.

Real friendships are rare and hard to come by and so when you find them, keep them close, hold them in your heart and be true. Let those three magic words out, give the flowers while you still can and cherish every single moment while you can. We are so quick to say that "there is time," that we miss the moments and then regret them after. Go to the movie that your friend want to watch, visit their house just because, send a text, a phone call, tell them how much you love them and appreciate them because life is not ours and tomorrow is not promised.

Highlighting these five in this blog does not mean they are my only friends but they are the tightest and best circle I could've ever asked for. I also have people who have fallen into the category of friends that I didn't mention and I am thankful to have met them and my prayer is to continue to grow with them for as long as I can. But In closing, I want to remind you to be careful and intentional in your choosing, the saying is indeed true, "show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are!" Call people for what they are, an acquaintance, a classmate, someone I know or met. All these are fine descriptions/titles and great ways to define someone, the word friend is not for everyone you've spoken to or think you know.

Might I just add, life is easier and better when your circle is filled with Godly women who shares your values and beliefs! And some of the best friendships that you will have, will be your family, parents, siblings and friends who become family!

Be kind! Be true! Be you! Always!

IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY DEAR FRIEND LOUISA PRINCE. MAY HER SOUL REST IN PEACE!

P.S. To Humpty, Mrs.wives and my human, I appreciate and Love you guys so much and I thank God everyday for allowing us to be together and grow with one another! May everyday granted be better than the last and that we continue to maintain our friendships.

Love,

SJ