The Divorce

I never thought the relationship I longed to have one like someday would come to an end. I always said that I wanted a relationship like what my parents had, loving, caring, you name it, it was all there.

When my mum left, I never thought it was a separation but her moving away to better herself and hopefully, one day we'll be a family again. It did happen! We reunited, and she left again! I still believed that there was hope for our family, a miracle would happen and my parents would fight this distance thing together.

Sadly, it took me sometime to realise that mother was always running away from father whenever he was close. The relationship I loved to see was crumbling down and I was so busy looking for the best in it that I did not see the problems that was right there in my face.

Let's face it, my dad is not perfect, he is LAZY and I tell him that all the time. He always waits for the opportunity to come but never chases after it. Whereas, my mum is very hard - working, she fights for what she wants until she gets it. Two different personalities who somewhat found themselves together. I believe the relationship started failing a long time ago but you can only fight for something up to a certain point.

I recently asked my mum why she left and she said, "you can only take so much, I was dying inside and emotionally I was weak." She told me that you can love someone but if you're the only one putting in all the work for the family while the other person enjoys your labour without putting in, then you've been alone all the time.

I felt her pain! I didn't understand but I saw it in her eyes! She was tired and I knew then that she needed her space. I don't hate my father but I don't like what he did, their relationship taught me so many lessons that one day if i were to be with someone I'd know what not to expect.

What hurts more now is seeing them both happy with other partners! The fact that I now have to accept a total stranger in really hurts. I am not selfish and I want them both to be happy but at the same time I wonder if they can be happy without me having to warm up to their significant others. My mother puts the pressure on me that if I don't accept the man that comes in her life, she won't allow herself to be with the person and that is not my goal.

My goal is to support whatever decision they make as long as they are happy, it is rough but I am trying to be more open minded about it.

Love Serg .....

*Sorry guys for being gone for so long!*