SOME THINGS ARE BETTER SHARED LATER

Some things in life are just better shared when they’re final or at least when they’re certain. That’s what I’ve come to believe after years of watching how sharing things too soon can either make them unravel or lose their sacredness. I’ve learned that sometimes, when you share something before it’s time, whether with people or on social media, it spreads too quickly, or suddenly, it just doesn’t happen. It’s like speaking it too soon takes something away from it.

I met Jay when I was in a terrible place emotionally. I had just lost my dad, and I was struggling through everything else life was throwing at me, especially with school. I was raw, tired, and not my best self. And it’s not often you meet someone who accepts you, your emotional baggage and all, without trying to fix or change you. The closer we got, the more I realized this was something I needed to protect. Not because I was ashamed or unsure, but because I knew it was real, and real things deserve covering, not exposing.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” — Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)

It was months into our relationship, on his birthday, when I finally shared publicly that we were dating. And it was months after he proposed that I posted we were engaged, even though by then, we were already married.

One of the first things Jay and I talked about early on was my faith. I made it clear if he was looking for a good time, I wasn’t it. I was committed to Christ and to doing things His way. That meant no sex before marriage and that also meant I wasn’t going to live with someone I wasn’t married to, no matter how serious the relationship felt.

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” — Matthew 6:33 (NIV)

We were living in two different countries, and at one point, the long-distance started to feel heavier. But when Christ is at the center of your relationship, love doesn’t just stay feeling; love moves, love builds, love commits. Around the time of my graduation, Jay was planning to come to Miami, and we had been talking more seriously about marriage. There were a lot of personal things happening in my life that were about to shift major parts of our world. And although I kind of suspected he might propose during that trip, it wasn’t some big shock; it was something we both wanted, something we had prayed about and something that felt divinely timed.

That trip changed everything. He met my mom, asked for her blessing, proposed the next day, and then we got married the day after that in a quiet court ceremony.

We didn’t even move in together right away. He had to return home, and so our first few months of marriage were still long-distance. I would travel to see him and we did our best to make it work. But even in the distance, we felt married in every sense, covered, committed, blessed.

Even though my mom knew, and later his parents, we decided to keep it quiet publicly. Jay wanted to be the one to share it with his people in his own way and honestly, we both felt like we were walking through something holy. Not secret out of shame, but sacred out of reverence. We wanted to enjoy what we had, to witness what God was doing, without the noise of opinions or expectations.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens...” — Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NIV)

There’s something powerful about trusting God with your story and keeping it between you and Him until He says it’s time to share. We saw God move in ways that still give me chills. The things we were anxious about, the questions we didn’t have answers for they all worked out. Doors opened, provision came, peace settled in, and it wasn’t by chance; it was Him. All Him.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” — Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

We spent our first year of marriage apart for some of it, planning a wedding for the next year. I’ve always been the girl who dreamed of a beautiful wedding, and even though we were already married, I still wanted to celebrate that covenant with the people we love. And let me tell you, planning a wedding from different countries while newly married will test you! We had disagreements, we had moments where it felt like we were speaking different languages, and the distance didn’t help. But the love was still there, and God’s grace was still holding us together.

Privacy taught me that not everything needs an audience. Secrecy (the healthy kind) showed me that some things are just more beautiful when you let them breathe away from the spotlight. And trusting God? That showed me that He really does write the best stories, if you let Him.

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” — Exodus 14:14 (NIV)

So, if you’re reading this and you’re in a season where things feel too delicate to share, don’t feel pressured. Not everything has to be posted, announced, or even explained. Sometimes silence is obedience. Sometimes privacy is protection. And sometimes the most sacred parts of your story are the ones only you, your person, and God will ever truly understand.

Let Him write it, let Him lead, and when it’s time, when it’s really time, you’ll know exactly when and how to share it.

As much as I would love to go into the details of our beautiful day and the full journey in this space, I can’t. Some things are still just ours, but not too long from now, our novel “Hold On to Me” will be released. It’s our real story told honestly, deeply, and prayerfully. A journey of love, loss, faith, and holding on when everything in you wants to let go.

I can’t wait for you to read it.

Love always,

SJ