MAY 6TH 2023........

I think you guys will probably get tired of me saying this all the time, but life really does not go as planned! But if I am honest, I am unsure as to whether or not I will stop saying that, because everyday, life always surprises me with an unexpected turn. When I came to the United States to complete my studies, I knew it would not be easy, but what I never doubted was the fact that I would get to attend my graduation ceremony when I completed my studies.

One of the highlights of my studies, was when I found out that most of the credits from my associate's degree transferred, and I didn't have to wait 4 years to complete my degree. I was happy knowing that I just had to complete two years of work and that would be it. I found a job as well which helped pay my school fees, and I also had my mother's help and support in that department which made all the difference in the world. I was content knowing that I would complete my studies debt free, and then move on to do my masters.

When I completed my first year and a half, my advisor told me that he realised that I was done, all the required credits were completed and asked me to apply for graduation. I was shocked! Shocked because I knew I had one semester left, but he explained that the school only had one graduation a year, and it looked like I just had two classes remaining. He stated that I would be allowed to walk the ceremony because it made absolutely no sense to wait until May 2024, when I would be done in July. I was the happiest girl in the world that day, not because I knew I worked hard to achieve the best grades and GPA, but I knew what this would mean for my mother. Seeing her daughter graduate college as a first generation college student, and feeling a part of something that she missed out on in the early years of my life.

I sent my graduation application in, I was told that I was good to go and was provided with a list of the courses that I was completing and those that I would be finishing off for the summer. I participated in all the things that had to do with graduating seniors, picture day and so on. I kept on receiving emails and invites to the different activities, I placed my cap and gown order in, and I was excited! I told my family, my mother was on cloud 9 and could not hold her excitement in. When it came to complete the last step of the graduation process which is clearing the business and alumni office, I encountered the unexpected. I went over to speak to the registrar, where I was told of classes that I was missing and was also being asked to retake courses. I was crushed, confused, and all the inbetween! I went home and cried to my mum, she wanted to visit the school to speak to the people and I kept holding her back because I didn't want any drama. It took me a while but I was ok with knowing that I may not be able to attend the graduation ceremony, but my mum wasn't because like I explained earlier, this meant a lot to her. My bestfriend was trying her best to make it, along with some other family friends and I just felt bad that I had to tell everyone of what happened, but I was just trusting the process for what it was.

I gave up on all things graduation, but my mum kept persisting, my school advisor and professors were asking me to speak to the president because what the registrar's office was saying did not make any sense to them. I tried contacting the president and was told that he was not in and that I had to put in an appointment to see him, and then it was one thing after the other. I left messages and there were no responses. I had already requested the time off work, therefore I made other plans seeing that I could not be at my graduation.

While away from Miami, I received a message from one of my classmates with a picture of the graduation program and she said, "I thought you said you were not attending the ceremony and would not be allowed to walk!" I was shocked! Confused! I wondered why my name was on there as someone who was graduating with honors. I was crushed! I cried! I called my mum and she was angry and I could understand why. I was suffering from a toothache because of my wisdom tooth, and I believed that made the pain worse but I just couldn't help but feel stupid and lost. Do I think I deserve an explanation about what happened? Ofcourse I do! I felt like if they changed their mind about allowing me to walk the ceremony, then I should've been notified of that change. Have I receive an explanation as to why that happened, whether it was a misunderstanding on my part or theirs? I haven't! I think maybe I should say that I haven't as "yet."

I have tried telling myself that the ceremony was not a big deal,that I didn't have to attend, that I still get my degree either way and so on but I couldn't help but feel like I was just telling myself these things so I didn't have to go into a dark place emotionally. While I was trying not to go into a dark hole, the whispers and sly comments made by others to my mother really opened my eyes to a whole new light and I told myself, maybe this had to happen for me to really see who was really who! My mother sat me down and she said something and I hope I never forget, "I have always told you that sometimes you think you know people, and go around saying they are your people and are in your corner, but I am reminding you today that blood will always be blood," She stated. Finding out that I was indeed placed in the graduating class of 2023, I went ahead and posted my pictures from picture day, and I had a few people congratulate me on the milestone and It felt good because this was supposed to be the day my family witnessed something they have all been waiting for, especially my mother, my aunts and uncles.

My mentor messaged me and she said, "many walk across the stage and get that piece of paper and feel like they have made it, but I can reassure you that this is not what matters and what counts," and that stuck with me. I realised that yes I would've loved to be at the ceremony and take pictures with my classmates and friends, but not being there does not mean that I didn't do the work, and that I didn't put in the time. I am so proud of myself for working late hours on a job that I didn't know much about just to be able to pay school, that I was able to remain focused and complete my assignments on time even when I procrastinated, that I always made the lists, remained humble and most of all, I made my mother proud!

I am in the middle of completing my last set of courses and will be finishing in a few weeks! I do infact get my physical degree in my hands as well and that for me is everything! A ceremony is important but it is not everything! At the end of the day, I started and I finished strong! I got accepted to another school to move on to the next chapter of my studies and I couldn't be happier to be starting my masters in the fall and I believe my mother will have that ceremony to attend and that to me is enough. My family and I will be having the best party ever to celebrate this achievement and again that for me is enough. When the year began I choose the word "congratulations" as my word for the year and so far it has been just that. The blessing in disguise in this for me was seeing my mother's heart in a way I never had before, and being disappointed by the people I least expected because of their words and actions. Now why would that be a blessing? This is a whole different story all by itself, but God!

I've experienced God's peace and that for me is huge! I could've done like others and made a big deal out of this and bashed the school on social media, or go into the offices and demand an explanation because I was "entitled" to it and so on. But instead, I just kept on repeating, it is what is, and let God's will be done! And for me God's will was done, and my family is proud because they have seen me struggle to make it!

For you it may not be a graduation ceremony that you had to try to process, maybe it was an immigration issue, or a death in your family. Maybe you are unable to wrap your head around what happened or is happening, and while it may be easier said than done, I say leave it all to God! There really is a peace that surpasses all understanding!

I say cheers to more success, to more life unexpected turns but most of all I say cheers to letting God's will be done!

Love always,

SJ