JUDGMENTAL GIRL OR CHRIST-LIKE GIRL?

It’s not news to most of y’all that I’m a PK (Pastor’s Kid), and if you are one or know one, you know that life under that microscope hits different. I think that played a huge role in who I was before I really surrendered and deepened my relationship with Christ. Now hear me out, I’m not making excuses, but one thing I do know for sure is that when you truly understand growth and grace, you’re no longer ashamed to talk about your past. You see the fruit in your now.

I was that teenager. The one who took the judgment thing into her own hands. Like literally. I’d look at people and think, “How can you be in church every Sunday, serving on teams and still live like that?” I wasn’t just thinking it either, I was slick with it, posting indirect statuses, making shady comments, and distancing myself from people I had already secretly labeled as “too far gone.”

I knew their sins, and I defined them by them. I’d either be fake and smile in their face or completely avoid them, all the while patting myself on the back like I was doing “God’s work.” But sis, let me tell you, what I was doing wasn’t godly. It was pride, it was self-righteousness, and it was judgment, not love.

But what Does Growth Do to you? IT CHANGES YOU!

When you grow in Christ, you change. You have to! God’s Word doesn’t leave you the same; it starts softening places in your heart you didn’t even know were hard.

One verse that really convicted me is Matthew 7:3-5:

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?... First take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

That hit me like a truck! I was out here spiritually nearsighted, focused on everyone else’s issues while ignoring my own heart posture.

I realized then, it’s not my job to police sin. That’s the Holy Spirit’s role. My job? To love, to live truth, and to lead with grace. I was holding people to standards they hadn’t fully learned to live by yet. Just like me, they were in process. The same God who was working on me was working on them too.

Grace Changes You, and Grace teaches you. Titus 2:11-12 says:

“For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness…”

When grace meets you, it humbles you. It doesn’t just make you feel better; it makes you be better. It doesn’t excuse sin, but it does teach you how to respond to it rightly in yourself and in others.

As a PK, I always felt watched, like if I just kept my image clean and exposed the “real sinners,” I’d feel more secure. But comparison and criticism don’t bring security; they feed insecurity. I was only trying to highlight others’ flaws so mine wouldn’t be so visible. But God doesn’t work like that.

Jesus didn’t come pointing fingers; He came offering healing. Think of the woman caught in adultery (John 8). The Pharisees dragged her out, ready to stone her. Jesus? He stooped down, wrote in the dirt, and said:

“Let the one who is without sin cast the first stone.”

They all walked away. And Jesus, the only sinless one there, didn’t throw a stone either. Instead, He said:

“Neither do I condemn you. Go now and leave your life of sin.”

He didn’t excuse the sin, but He didn’t shame her either. That’s what I’m learning to do. Correct in love, speak truth gently, and if I can’t do either, then pray and stay quiet.

So, my encouragement to you is to love people where they are.

These days, I’m learning to genuinely love people where they are, and it changes everything. I’ve stopped defining people by what I know about them and started defining them by what God says about them. That they are loved, redeemable, and worth dying for.

I recently got to lead someone to Christ, and listen, nothing compares to that moment when someone’s eyes open to Jesus because you chose to represent Him well. It’s a high no platform or popularity can ever compete with.

The only thing we’re taking to Heaven is people, not our opinions, not our status updates, not our “I’d never do that” mentality, just souls.

So, Here’s My Question…

Are you going to be the Judgmental Girl? Or are you going to be the Christ-Like Girl?

Because one points fingers, and the other points to Jesus.

Love always,

SJ