God Blessed the Broken Road (Part 2)

God Blessed the Broken Road (Part 2)

Whoever said "history repeats itself" was not telling a lie!

Here I was in this relationship trying my best to trust John and trying to figure out when I should plan for a wedding again. I remember taking a walk with him and asking him when we were going to put a date to the wedding, his response was "I don't know, because I am caught in-between a rock and a hard place." I asked him what that meant but he could not respond. I just figured to myself that he was busy, and I just kept moving on thinking that one day we would sit and plan and that all would be ok. I also found myself thinking of whether my mother and grandfather would even attend. Things were going ok with John in my book, until my birthday came around.

The thing is John and I always made a big deal over each other’s birthday. So, every birthday we would try to outdo the other but that year something went wrong. I had not heard from John for days before my birthday and even on the day of my birthday, so I thought it was because of his demanding job. I got a call asking if I had heard from him or seen him because his church members had not seen him either and the first person, they thought of calling was me. I kid you not my heart flipped, I felt cold and warm at the same time. I picked up my phone and called John like I had done days before but there was no answer. At that time, I began to panic, what could have gone wrong? Then a day or two after, a friend calls me to ask a very strange question, "what did your fiancé give you for your birthday?" he asked. To save face I lied, and I told him that he gave me money. My friend went on to tell me that he gave me money because he didn't have time to look for a gift and the reason, he was saying such a thing is because on the night of my birthday he saw John somewhere with another girl all hugged up and so on.

I could feel my body getting numb, I was in complete shock! At that point, I didn’t know how or what to feel, so I called his pastor and he himself could not believe what was going on. Thinking of it all, I couldn't help but cry, my heart was broken once again and this time it was shattered in a million piece. Eventually his pastor got him on the phone but by then the story had spread all over. People had seen him with her, they heard what was going on and the phone calls came pouring in. As I had already known, my mother and grandfather were not going to make this easy because they warned me, and I did not listen. So, I had my sisters in my corner, his pastor and some of my friends. The hardest part in all this and the funniest part is that John found this girl in our country, during the days that I didn't hear from him. He was with her the days he didn't try to see me, and he slept at her house. Was this really happening to me again? I don't know how this girl found my father's phone number, but she found it and was having conversations with my dad. She called him every day, she spoke of how heartbroken she was and how John had hurt her and that she didn't know he was engaged. She went on to explain how "sweet" he was to her and how he made her laugh etc.

My dad thought it was a great idea to give this woman my phone number so she could explain everything to me. One day, I saw the phone ringing, it was a strange number and so I hesitated to pick up but nevertheless I did and lo and behold it was the woman on the other end crying to me about how much she's in love with John and how he had been so sweet to her and her daughter and how her heart is broken. What was I supposed to say to her? Was I supposed to tell her that I was sorry? I told her that I'm the one who should be crying because I was engaged to him when all of this was happening. I couldn't speak after that conversation, so I had to call his pastor who had now become a father to me because he was always there to answer my calls, and when I didn't call, he called me. He could not believe that this girl was calling me! The woman made it a habit to call me every day just to speak about how John was hurting her. I had enough and I stopped answering the phone and blocked her number. I don't know why I placed placed through that. John finally called after a few weeks to ask if he could speak to me so he could explain what had happened. Now this was because his pastor found him and had a conversation with him.

I agreed to meet with him, but I had already made up my mind that I was done with this nonsense relationship, and I was ready to move on. We finally met somewhere quiet, and I allowed him to explain. When he was done, I told him that all I could say to him was "I forgive you, I don't hate you, and I never could but we can no longer be together!" I also remember telling him that one day we would be friends again. He sat there just looking at me in disbelief and I could clearly see that this made him sad, but I didn't care anymore, I was ready to move on with my life. This was hard after a relationship of 5 years and some, it was a lot to process, and I couldn't process anything at the time. I blamed myself for even praying to God and asking for this man to be mine. I blamed myself for giving him a second chance and I blamed myself for trusting him. My family noticed the sadness but there was nothing they could do, but the God I serve is always on time. I got a call from my cousin, in another island who asked me to come spend some time with her and her family and so I left. Would you believe me if I said that John called every day? He said he called to say hello, to find out how I was doing and to let me know that he was still in love with me. I was so tired of him calling! I told him that he should leave me alone and that he should give me some time to heal.

He stopped calling and then started again! I just ignored the calls; I wasn't mentally ready to be friends and I sure was not ready to hear about him still being in love with me. I missed my family and after 6 months of being away, I packed my bags and headed back to my country. My head was clear, I was done processing and I wanted to come home so that I could go to work and build my house and at that point I figured that I didn't need a man and I didn't want anyone. I said that I would live my life single and free from drama! I was home, I got a job, and I was happy. One day I got a call and yes it was John, I spoke to him as a friend, we laughed a few times, he brought me lunch at work and sometimes breakfast. Then one day, I realized that these old feelings were coming back, when I noticed that this was happening, I went to God and I told him that these old feelings were coming back and that I could not deal with that kind of “nonsense”, I asked him to please rescue me and that he did. I had met someone a month before but since I had already planned on staying single, I ignored the fact that he wanted to go out with me. Seeing that I had prayed for God's rescue, I immediately agreed to go out with the man who is now my sweet husband.

I remember telling John that I met someone and that our very close friendship had to end. He did not take that lightly! He called my mom begging to speak with her, she was so upset that he called, she decided to call me to ask why he was now calling to speak to her. She went on to say that she won't ever trust him, so the fact that he wanted to speak to her was pointless. She also said that she would let my new man know that he was trying to speak with her. John also came to my work and said that he needed to speak to me. He sat in the car begging me to give him another chance, to let him prove that he could be trusted again but this time I said no and that I couldn't do it again. He sat there with his eyes filled with tears, I said that I was sorry, and I left. I kept seeing the man who would soon be my husband and I was in a great relationship! One where I didn't have to fight to trust, one where his family loved me, in a relationship with a man who loves God and loved me for real, the man whom God sent to save me from evil.

I am now married for 7 happy years and I'm loving it! Every day, I find a reason to fall in love with my husband all over again. I love you Robertson Antione, thank you for saving me! He was what I needed all along!

To you readers, I would say, sometimes God gives us what we want to help us understand that that's not what we need and then he gives us what we need so we can realize that that's what we needed all along.

Remember His plans are perfect, His thoughts towards you are good. He will never hold back good things that are meant for you because he loves you. In all of this, I learnt to forgive and how to be kind to those I feel doesn't deserve my kindness.

P.S. John and I are friends to this day!

__ Valantine Antoine